i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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