I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
