I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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