Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
