Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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