I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
