I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
