like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I currently don't understand fingers.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
