I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
