So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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