I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
