you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
