I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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