Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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