that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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