so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
