When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
