I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
