I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
