For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
