Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
