you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
