Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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