i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
