If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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