this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Randomize
