We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize