Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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