woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
