it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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