i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
