11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
