Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
