you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
