Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
