i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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