he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
