IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
