Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
