did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize