Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
His nipple licking is glorious
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