3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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