Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
