I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
