i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
