Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
