My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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