Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize