You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You ruined the universe
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
