What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
