I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
