This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
