is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
