Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
