nut hugger
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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