LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
