Just fell off a train. Bad.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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