well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
