your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
