Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
