i jhust puked up my retainher.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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