Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
