no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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