I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
