i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
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