My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
