the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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