is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
